A Big Hole in my Heart (trying my best not to be a drama queen)
Erik’s first day at day care… *sniff
First a little history – Chhimi (me) went to boarding school in India when I was in my second grade. I was in boarding school till my twelfth grade. I was not a bad kid as most people think – when they hear the word boarding school – it was just better education or a lack of better education in Bhutan. Anyways before Erik was born – I always told everyone that if I had a boy I would send him back to boarding school in India. And I always laughed at the naysayer – reminding me that I would miss him.
Wow – they were so RIGHT! I remember being left in boarding school – and those first few days were so tough and we would miss our families. But when the tables are turned on to you – the pain of leaving your off spring in total stranger’s hands is just unbearable. I am not a “wussy or a sissy” but when it comes to matters that revolve around my son – I am a pussycat.
They say the babies usually have separation anxiety about 10 thru 12 months – but they don’t ever tell you about the separation anxiety you go through as a parent. This is probably the most difficult thing I have had to do all my life. But Erik is a trooper – he didn’t even seem to miss us while we stood outside the window – looking in to see whether he missed up – but our little guy was too busy playing and observing all the other kids.
Maybe I should just quit my job and spend more time with him. All I know is that I have a big hole in my heart and I miss the little guy a lot.
Daddy misses you Erik “BuBu.”
Episode 1 of Many: Erik's Day at Day Care
First a little history – Chhimi (me) went to boarding school in India when I was in my second grade. I was in boarding school till my twelfth grade. I was not a bad kid as most people think – when they hear the word boarding school – it was just better education or a lack of better education in Bhutan. Anyways before Erik was born – I always told everyone that if I had a boy I would send him back to boarding school in India. And I always laughed at the naysayer – reminding me that I would miss him.
Wow – they were so RIGHT! I remember being left in boarding school – and those first few days were so tough and we would miss our families. But when the tables are turned on to you – the pain of leaving your off spring in total stranger’s hands is just unbearable. I am not a “wussy or a sissy” but when it comes to matters that revolve around my son – I am a pussycat.
They say the babies usually have separation anxiety about 10 thru 12 months – but they don’t ever tell you about the separation anxiety you go through as a parent. This is probably the most difficult thing I have had to do all my life. But Erik is a trooper – he didn’t even seem to miss us while we stood outside the window – looking in to see whether he missed up – but our little guy was too busy playing and observing all the other kids.
Maybe I should just quit my job and spend more time with him. All I know is that I have a big hole in my heart and I miss the little guy a lot.
Daddy misses you Erik “BuBu.”
Episode 1 of Many: Erik's Day at Day Care
posted by Jigme | 12:39 PM
1 Comments:
Boy, can I relate to this. Felt the same way after I dropped Josh off at day care for the first time. Came home to a house that was eerily empty; the only sound was me sobbing as I realized what a milestone it was, for both him and me. Gets easier, though, especially when you see what a positive thing it is for your kid. Hang in there Chhimi!
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